


For the Rest of Our Lives

by isoldembd



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isoldembd/pseuds/isoldembd
Summary: A collection of memories Newt and Hermann share over their years of knowing one another, leading up to the moment feelings are shared and love is reciprocated.





	For the Rest of Our Lives

It was a cool spring morning, 2017, Kodiak Island, at the Jaeger Academy. Hermann’s alarm started blaring at 7 A.M. sharp, but he was already awake, unable to sleep because this was it. Finally the day. After three years of letters written in excited chicken scratch of numbers and diagrams and enough science talk to make your head explode, it was finally time. The day had come when Hermann would meet Dr. Geiszler face-to-face, to be able to hear him speak about his Kaiju theories and look into his eyes when Hermann presented his new equations for the possible location of the Breach. It was the day that everything would change for the both of them, for better or for worse. Some would say better—Hermann would definitely say worse. 

 

Jumping out of bed, as much as his bad leg would allow him, Hermann grabbed his cane and began his morning routine around his cramped military style room. Open the blinds, assess the weather for the morning (seems like a cold one, better go with the tweed jacket), shower, brush his teeth for exactly two minutes, shave, put on clothes, and sit down for breakfast (always two poached eggs, one piece of whole wheat toast cut in half buttered on one side, and a cup of Earl Grey tea with one sugar and a dash of milk). Today’s attire was a little more put together, in Hermann’s opinion. He needed to impress Dr. Geiszler—although, at any mention of a specific wardrobe change, Hermann would  _ immediately _ deny it. He was sporting his polished maple cane with gold detailing, his most expensive tweed suit jacket, his grey Dockers freshly ironed, his favorite checkered sweater vest and a plain white button up shirt underneath. Let’s not forget his custom-made oxford dress shoes, made of authentic leather and polished to perfection. Hermann had never felt better, and never more ready to tackle this very important day. 

 

They agreed upon 10:30 A.M. in the Academy’s small coffee shop. Of course, Hermann showed up two hours early, always excruciatingly punctual. Having already had breakfast and being not too keen on the way caffeine treats his digestive system, he ordered a glass of water with lemon and sat down near the window with his research notes. 

 

Stuck on a specific equation that had been baffling him since last week, Hermann didn't notice the man wearing a very worn leather jacket with rolled up sleeves and big, black, square glasses, who was standing in front of him with a huge grin on his face. 

 

“Hi! You must be the infamous Hermann Gottlieb!” a borderline shrill voice excitedly announced to the coffee shop. Hermann nearly snapped his pencil when that voice cut sharply through the quiet air. He glanced over his round glasses and was shocked at what he saw.

 

No suit jacket, no professionally made leather shoes, no pressed pants, just a slightly greasy looking  _ kid _ with hair sticking up in every direction and a 5 o’clock shadow like no other.

 

“Yes? May I help you?” Maybe this isn’t the Newton he knows, maybe just a fan, someone enrolled in the Jaeger Program that has read his theories. It couldn’t be Newton, the brilliant mind he’d gotten to know so well. Could it?

 

“It’s me! It’s Newt! Your best science bud who you’ve been writing to for like three years straight! Man, it’s so GREAT to see you! Catch me up on everything, tell me what you’re working on, man, this is awesome!” This Newt plopped down opposite of Hermann, who was still in utter shock. 

 

“ _ You’re _ Dr. Newton Geiszler? The same Dr. Newton Geiszler that was the second youngest person to be admitted to MIT, received six doctorates in the biological sciences and went on to teach there for six years?” 

 

Newt nodded reluctantly, clearly not excited to own up to his historical achievements. “Yeah yeah, man. But who cares about all that. Let’s get down to the juicy stuff! I’ve got this great new theory about kaiju bone—” 

 

Hermann stood up abruptly, snatching his cane off of the wall and gathering up his reading materials. “I cannot believe this. I have spent three years talking to an unprofessional  _ child _ that looks like he aspires to be a  _ rockstar  _ more than a bloody scientist! Excuse me.” Hermann began to walk away when Newt screeched his chair against the floor and stood up.

 

“You know, you look like you’re trying to dress like the inventors of the steam engine train. You’re 26 years old for fucks sake! At least I don’t look like I’m 85,  _ I _ actually dress my age! And I don’t judge people based on their clothes, you asshat.” 

 

Hermann stormed out of the coffee shop, leaving the few patrons and employees staring silently watching the scene unfold. That was the first and last time Hermann saw Newt until 2020, when the real story begins.

 

~~~

 

When Hermann got the letter that he would be working in the research division in Hong Kong with one Dr. Newton Geiszler, he practically threw his cane out of his third floor window. It seemed like one awful nightmare coming to life. Working side by side with that infuriating hyperactive mess of a man. This could only go one way, and that was  _ horribly wrong. _

 

Upon arriving to the Shatterdome and being led to the lab, Hermann’s mood seemed to have lifted, if only slightly. The knowledge of sharing a workspace with that Dr. Geiszler still loomed over him like a dark cloud filled with a shouting voice and unkempt hair. Hermann could only hope that his stay in Hong Kong will be short lived, either due to the Kaiju being defeated or… death. 

After that dark thought, Hermann decided to delve into his work immediately, no time to waste thinking about ridiculous people or their ridiculous outfits. The fate of the world was quite literally sitting on Hermann’s shoulders and how well he completed his work while in the Shatterdome.

 

And just when Hermann was getting settled in, a certain rockstar came striding into the lab with childlike excitement beaming across his face. 

 

“This is so  _ cool _ ! I’ve never worked in a lab this  _ huge _ before, not even at MIT. This is gunna be so fun.” Newt practically ran to his work station, picking up his shiny new tools in awe. He stripped off his battered leather jacket, and rolled up his sleeves, allowing Hermann (who has been staring) a better view of the detailed ink sprawled across his forearms. So many tattoos on such a small man. He’s a scientist for Pete’s sake, would it  _ kill _ him to maintain a professional look?

 

Realizing he’d been staring, Hermann cleared his throat and focused his attention back on his equations. Newton hearing the noise, looked up and froze.

 

“It’s you. The jerk with a stick jammed so far up his—”

“ _ Please _ , Dr. Geiszler,” Hermann interrupted, “We will maintain a professional relationship while we are stationed here. You work on your Kaiju, and I on my maths. We will stay on our respective sides of the lab and that will be that. Does that sound agreeable to you, Doctor?” 

Hermann glanced over his glasses and scoffs at the Kaiju inerds being thrown every which-way. “And  _ please _ keep your Kaiju entrails on your half of the lab.  _ Some  _ of us have real work to do and can’t be distracted by body parts flying about.” 

 

Newt rolled his eyes and barked out a humorless laugh. “Ha! What do you do all day,  _ Doctor _ ? Scribble numbers all over your chalkboard like a mad scientist? At least I’m actually finding out real, hard facts about the Kaiju, not just creating a dust cloud with my theories. I mean, seriously, man, what is your problem?” 

 

Hermann scrunched up his face, irritated beyond belief already, and it’s only been about ten minutes. “How  _ dare  _ you! I am a respected mathematician, I  _ invented _ the Jaeger programming, what have you done? Dissected some stinking alien corpses and get them tattooed all over your arms like a— like a—  _ Kaiju groupie!” _

 

The next day Hermann came into the lab with a large roll of yellow caution tape and split the floor in half. Numbers on one side, Kaiju guts on the other, perfect harmony. Except not at all. Not until all hell breaks loose, and Newt and Hermann are the only ones left doing the scientific heavy lifting.

~~~

 

During those years, it wasn’t  _ all _ bad, despite popular belief. There were some moments that Newt and Hermann shared that deemed them worthy of the Married Couple title, as much as the fighting did. 

 

After a Kaiju attack, when everyone gets a fire lit under their ass, Newt had been the direct target of every captain in the building demanding more answers making Newt ask more questions and— let’s just say, he had a very tough week. 

 

It was the Friday after said Kaiju attack and Hermann would say Newt had a total of 14 hours of sleep through those seven days of hell. Hermann had seen Newt through every awful situation imaginable: Newt without coffee, Newt without fresh Kaiju parts, Newt without his blasted rock music, and, worst of all, Newt during the three days Hermann had to leave to London for a conference ( Hermann wasn’t privy to Newt during those days, but from the visible relief from their fellow lab partners when Hermann finally came back, he could tell it must’ve been a hard few days for everyone involved). 

 

But, this was different. Hermann had never seen Newt so concentrated, nor so stressed; it was practically radiating off of him. The empty mugs of coffee piled ceiling high on his desk, the clothes he had been wearing for god knows how long... Hermann wondered when the last time it was Newt had real food and not just that sugar garbage from the vending machine outside of the lab. If he kept going like this, he’d be dead in a matter of hours, and a dead scientist does no one any good. 

 

That’s how Hermann ended up making the hike to the mess hall and filling a tray with pasta, broccoli, a dinner roll, and the biggest bottle of water he could manage to find. By the grace of god, he managed to carry it all back one-handed without a single noodle flying over the edge to its untimely demise. 

 

“Newton. Sit down for a moment, would you?” Hermann shoved some of the coffee mugs to the side and placed the tray down next to Newt’s computer keyboard. Hermann knew eating in the lab was a safety hazard, but he figured this was a justified exception. 

 

“What is it, Herm? I don’t have time to be playing any of your weird puzzle games right now, I’m in the middle of something very, very big. This could change everything we know about the Kaiju, Herm, I can feel it.” Newt’s eyes were still fixed on the piece of Kaiju liver he was arm-deep in. 

 

“I have  _ told _ you not to call me that, Newton. Come over here, now, it won’t take but a moment of your precious time.” Hermann made sure to roll his eyes obviously. Can’t have anyone in the lab thinking he  _ cares _ , heavens no. 

Newt withdrew his arms from the corpse with a sickening  _ squelch  _ and strided over to where Hermann was leaning against his cane. 

 

“Seriously, Herm, what is it? These military dudes are all types of up in my asshole about this Kaiju attack, I can’t waste any—"

“Newton! Just sit and eat! For Heaven’s sake, stop yammering!” Hermann shoved the tray closer to Newt and waited until he plopped down into the rolly office chair, a dumbfounded look on his face.

 

“Wait… I don’t get it. Did you poison it or something? Why are you feeding me?” Despite his accusation, Newt grabbed the fork and started stirring the noodles around, clearly about to take a bite.

 

“Goodness, Newton, do you really think so low of me? I would poison your autopsy instruments if I had a choice. Much higher probability of you getting the lethal dosage in your system.” Hermann smirked and began to stalk over to his side of the lab, but not before he saw Newt take a bite.

 

“Thanks, Herm. Maybe you’re not as much of a dickhole as I thought you were.” 

 

“Drink the water, too, Newton.”

 

Hermann went back to his work when he heard the crack of the bottle cap being opened.

 

~~~

 

Hermann doesn’t like to draw attention to his cane or the fact that he sometimes needs help. He has lived long enough on this earth with his disability, and he doesn’t understand why some people think he can’t do mundane tasks on his own.

 

But, sometimes, Hermann  _ does _ need help, he just doesn’t know how to ask for it—especially if the help is coming from Newton.

 

A particularly late evening writing and rewriting equations until his chalk was worn down to a nub had led Hermann to be more tired than he usually allowed himself to get. Standing too long on his bad leg made it ache unbearably, his hip joint swelling and he knew he would end up having to find himself to the on-site physician to get the pain massaged out. He just didn’t have any time for that. He had more work to finish tonight, and then as soon as he woke up in the morning, he would have to race back down to the lab to get an early start. These equations weren’t going to write themselves, and Hermann would be damned if he let his bloody leg get in the way of that.

 

Newt had checked out at a reasonable time, telling Hermann not to stay too late, but of course Hermann didn’t listen, as he never does. It was around 1 A.M. (Oh, God, when did it get to be that late?) when Hermann’s hip was shooting pain down into his knee and up into his lower back, and he couldn’t stand on this ladder anymore. He went to step down, but pain and tiredness making him sluggish, he took a misstep and all of a sudden he’s lying on his back on the concrete floor (Is that what the ceiling looks like?) and things started to get fuzzy around the edges. 

 

“If I bloody die in this lab because I fell off of my ladder—” and everything went black. 

 

“HERMANN! Oh my god, Hermann what did you do, man? I  _ told _ you not to stay too late! I come back to find my fucking glasses because of course I would leave them in the lab and then I see you sprawled out like a damn starfish, holy  _ shit _ , Herm, did you break anything? Does it hurt anywhere?” Newton was leaning over Hermann on the floor, hovering his hands over his body, clearly wanting to help but not knowing how. He may be a doctor, he’s just not the kind Hermann needed when he falls off of an 8 foot ladder. 

 

“The only thing hurting right now, Newton, are my ears.  _ Must _ you shout?” Hermann started to sit up, Newt’s hands on his back helping guide him into a sitting position.

 

“If it weren’t for me you would probably be dead right now, man. I think what you meant to say was thank you.”

 

“I merely took a misstep. I would have been just fine once I had woken up.”

 

“That’s what people say right before they go into a coma. Let me see your head, you must’ve hit it pretty hard when you fell.” Newt had put his hand on the back of Hermann’s head, he ran his fingers through his hair gently checking for blood, and came up empty, thank god.

 

“I didn’t fall from high enough or hard enough to put myself into a coma, Newton. I’m just a bit tired, is all—” Hermann tried to stand up, but couldn’t quite get his footing—his cane must have been knocked out of reach on the way down. Newt saw Hermann struggling and put his arm under Hermann’s armpit and across his back to walk him over to a chair.

 

“Yeah, whatever, Herm. I’m gunna say it. I have to because I really did. I really, really  _ told you so _ . I said, and I quote, ‘Don’t stay too late, Herm, you’re gunna end up in the hospital,’ and look at where we are now.”

 

“In the laboratory?”

 

“Ok,  _ yes, _ but you’re still hurt, which is, like, not cool, dude. You have to tell someone if you’re going to stay late and be playing jungle gym on the lab equipment, man. I would’ve stayed if I knew you wanted to. It’s not like I go to sleep before 3, anyways.”

 

“Why must I tell anyone? I’m not a  _ child _ . I am an adult and if I wish to stay later and work on my maths then I  _ will. _ I don’t need any supervision!” There’s nothing Hermann hated more than being looked down upon just because he had a limp. Plenty of non-disabled people fall off of ladders, why don’t  _ they _ need supervision? He could handle working late on his own, he didn’t need a damned babysitter. 

 

His frustration practically broadcasting up into space, Newt crouched next to Hermann sitting in his desk chair and put a hand on his knee.

 

“I know, Herm, I know. I just meant to say that I don’t want something to happen to you. I would hate myself if you really, really hurt yourself and I wasn’t around to help. We’re lab partners, after all. We have to look out for each other, man.” Newt gave a gentle smile and Hermann looked up into his eyes. Upon seeing no ill intentions, Hermann dropped his malattitude and accepted that, maybe, yes, Newton actually cared about something besides his blasted Kaiju.

 

“I suppose you’re right, Newton. Next time, if I find myself in need of assistance, I’ll call you. Now, would you please get my cane. I seemed to have launched it across the room.”

 

~~~

 

Sometimes the overworking took such a toll on both Hermann and Newt, that they ended up just passing out in the lab. It was one of those nights. 

 

Hermann and Newt were the only two left in the lab, everyone unwilling to wake them up (everyone knew to let a sleeping Newton lie, and that Hermann, and Hermann  _ alone _ , would decide when he was finished for the day). Hermann snoozing at his desk and Newt lying belly up on the battered couch, it was silent in the dim lab, the only light coming from the large tanks filled with various floating Kaiju parts and the small desk lamp Hermann used when he was sitting working on equations.

 

Then Hermann jolted awake at the sound of Newt yelling, “Please! Pl-please.”

 

Hermann had never seen Newt fully asleep before, so he had no knowledge of whether Newt had nightmares often or if something triggered this instance. Regardless, Hermann rubbed the drowsiness out of his eyes and went to walk over to the distressed Newt.

 

“Take me…not...not...him. Run! Run! Her...mann…” At the mention of his name, Hermann knew he must have been dreaming about Kaiju. Hermann often suspected that Newt grew more terrified of the beasts everyday— any normal person would. News story after news story. Death after death. It could only take a toll on someone working so diligently to stop it all.

 

“Newton! Newton, wake up, it’s only a dream.” But Newt was already in deep sleep and far too buried in his own mind to pay any attention to the outside world.

 

“Stop! Please, help me! Someone...” At that point Newt’s eyebrows were knitted tightly together, small beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and his fingers twitched as they dangled off of the side of the couch. 

Hermann’s siblings would often get nightmares as children, he knew just how to calm them. Hermann crossed the lab right to Newton’s side and crouched down so his mouth was level with Newt’s ear. 

Hermann put a hand on the top of Newton’s head and whispered, “If they want you, they’re going to have to fight me.”

 

He stayed sitting next to the couch on the floor for awhile, running his hand through Newt’s hair, keeping the monsters at bay while he slept. 

 

Neither of them said anything when they both awoke the next morning, heads leaning against each other, Newt’s hand intertwined with Hermann’s.  

 

~~~

 

Not everyone was the most respectful on the base. It was expected, honestly, with all of the big meatheaded military dudes strutting around like they knew something no one else did. Newt secretly hated them. They were all assholes, bullies in their past lives, like that Chuck Hansen dickhead. Who the fuck talked to their own dad like that? He was a little shit and everybody knew it. 

Newt and Hermann stayed tucked away in their little lab most of the time, but on the rare occasion they had to venture into another side of the base, they would get looks. They didn’t exactly fit in, and they knew it— Hermann with his cane and his outfits he gets from the thrift store, and Newt with his dirty hair and skinny ties. They were a couple of oddballs, and most of the time it didn’t matter, except for when one of the new recruits would try and make a humorless joke at their expense.

 

“Hey, look at this joker,” a very tall, too muscular blonde guy gestured to Hermann who had left the lab to give a report to Pentecost. “What are you doing here, little guy? You get lost on your way to the old folks’ home?” The blonde asshole’s goons seemed to think that one was particularly funny, chuckling behind his huge shoulders.

 

Hermann, not new to bullying, had simply looked at him like the idiot he was.

 

“You gunna say something, or…?” Clearly this jerk wanted to make a spectacle. 

 

“What would you like me to say, sir? Honestly, the buffoons they allow in this place, it amazes me.” Hermann rolled his eyes and tried to walk past the group of goons. Blondie put his giant hand on Hermann’s shoulder in a very threatening way like, ‘I don’t know where you’re going, but it’s nowhere I don’t want you to be.’

 

That is the point Hermann started to get exasperated, because  _ honestly _ , were these people so bored in between Kaiju attacks that they just felt the need to take it out on people trying to  _ help _ them?

 

While all of this was stewing, Newt was getting a little worried. Hermann had said he would only be ten minutes as he walked to Pentecost’s station, but it had been 15 and something wasn’t right. He seriously hoped he didn’t get his cane stuck in an air vent again. Hermann was always on time, it didn’t matter for what. Newt decided to go and find him, just to be sure.

 

Upon opening the lab door and walking down the corridor, he saw the scene unfolding. Hermann standing in front of the beefcakes, the lead beefcake putting his hands on Hermann, the other beefcakes just standing around like it was all okay, like they were all friends just having a laugh. Newt knew for certain they were not just having a laugh and he wouldn’t stand for the bullshit.

 

“Hey! Hey, fuckheads! What the fuck are you doing! Get away from him!” Newt stormed over to the mass and pushed the big one’s hand off of Hermann, getting in between them. Yes, Newt was smaller than Hermann, but he was more willing to get into a fight and that’s the most important quality to have when someone is making dumb jokes about your friend.

 

“Look, guys, his little boyfriend is here to protect the nerd!” I mean seriously, were they in high school? Who says nerd anymore?

“Listen, you piece of shit, I get that you don’t have that many brain cells in your head and you’re probably very insecure about that, but that doesn’t mean you can go around laying your hands on people you don’t fucking know!” Newt’s fury was heating up his entire body, the adrenaline had started to pump. He knew if the Hulk, here, threw a punch he probably wouldn’t feel it. He was ready for a fight— but seeing the craze in Newt’s eyes, MuscleMania decided it wasn’t worth the trouble and gathered his crew and left.

“That’s right, scatter like the vermin you are!” Newt promptly turned around to Hermann who was simply standing disapprovingly with his arms crossed.

 

“God, what fucking assholes those guys were. I bet they were Australian— they never know how to control their savage ancestry, being bred from prisoners, surviving on only booze and kangaroo meat, I mean, you kind of have to expect that kind of behavior, it’s a shame really.”

 

Hermann rolled his eyes, as always, and walked back to the lab, ignoring everything Newt had to say about certain continents and their inhabitants.

 

“Hey, man! Slow down, Jesus. Did they hurt you? Can you file a report on them? Get their asses kicked off the base?”

 

“No, Newton. They just decided to take their aggressions out on me, it wasn’t going to escalate past verbal abuse, anyhow. I didn’t need you coming to my rescue.”

 

Newt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If it wasn’t for his bravery, Hermann would’ve been a pile of jelly on the ground.

 

“What the hell? I just  _ saved your life _ , a thank you and maybe a token of your appreciation is what’s customary in these situations, Herm.”

 

Hermann whipped around, clearly agitated. “Saved my life? Is  _ that  _ what you were doing? It seemed to me you were only escalating the situation! What would you have done if they had decided to get into a fight? Hm? What then, Newton?  _ I _ would have been the one having to take care of you!” Hermann was really getting heated, now. 

 

“Hermann, I— ”

“You can’t be so frivolous with your life, Newton! You can’t pretend like you’re invincible! There will come a day when you overestimate yourself and you’ll end up in a hospital or worse...dead. What would you expect me to do then? Move on with my life and pretend like I couldn’t have done something more, is that  _ really _ what you want for me, Newton? A life where I can’t help but think I could have saved you from yourself!” Hermann was furious, he was red and panting.

 

Newt couldn’t remember the last time he had seen him so angry. What was he supposed to do, leave him there against those jerks and watched as they got away with harassment? No one was allowed to talk to Hermann like that, no one except Newt.

 

“Hermann, I’m sorry. I was just trying to help. You can’t let people talk to you like that, man. People can’t get away with that shit, it’s not right. You’re just as important as they are. I would have rather I get beat up than you, Herm. I know— I know I’m not invincible, but I’m...expendable. You aren’t.” Newt took a step forward and reached his hand out toward Hermann, but Hermann twisted out of reach, clearly still hurt— maybe even more hurt now— by Newt’s words.

 

Hermann just started shaking his head, letting out a dry huff that Newt guessed was supposed to be a laugh.

 

“You just don’t understand, do you?” 

 

Newt just shrugged, not following where Hermann was going with this.

 

“You’re not expendable, either, Newton. I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have you around. I don’t think I could bare it.” Hermann went quiet, just looking at Newt for a long moment, then stalked off to his side of the lab. 

 

Newt stood there frozen for a long time before deciding Hermann was right, although he would never tell him that. 

 

~~~

  
  


All of these memories, all of this history, the screaming matches, the secret shared concern for one another, and the unquestioned loyalty brings us to after the cancelling of the apocalypse (Newt thinks that phrase is the most ridiculous thing, but whatever). Everyone is celebrating with cheap booze and no sleep, Newt and Hermann included. 

 

“We did it, Herm! We officially saved the freaking world, man! We’re total rock stars now!” Newt screeches as he sloshes his cup full of shitty beer around. 

 

Hermann gives a bashful smile, not being too keen on taking credit for a team effort. Everyone made sacrifices. Everyone is a rockstar, and Hermann couldn’t be happier than in this exact moment, here with Newton, his cup of lukewarm beer in hand, tucked tightly on the couch in the lab. 

 

“Yes, Newton. We are all rock stars. And could you please not drench me with your beer, I’ve already taken one shower today, thank you.” Hermann has to throw a jab in there to maintain normalcy, even if there isn’t any real bite to it.

 

“ _ Ha ha _ , Hermann. Always the joker aren’t you?” Then, Newt abruptly stands up and outstretches his hand toward Hermann, “Come here, I want to show you something.” 

 

“What is it, Newton? You know I’m not one for surprises. This better not be another Kaiju eyeball like the one you got for my birthday.” 

Still, Hermann grabs Newt’s hand and allows himself to be led to a closet in the back of the lab.

 

“That was an awesome gift! Those things sell for thousands, Herm, you just have to learn to be more grateful. But this is way cooler, anyways. I think you’ll love it.” Newt was smiling uncontrollably, which Hermann learned was always a bad sign. Still, he loves seeing Newton like this, happy and healthy, not a care in the world. All of those late nights, the stress and frustration for years, it all paid off, finally. 

 

Newt opens the rusty door of the closet and pulls out a long box wrapped in paper with little green and blue dinosaurs all over it. There’s a bright red bow and a card attached.

 

“I got this awhile ago, I was just waiting for the right moment to give it to you. I guess this is as good a moment as any, since we just saved billions of people. Go on, open it.” Newt hands Hermann the box, trading it for his cane. 

 

Hermann opens the card, first. It has a picture of a penguin and a whale on it, both smiling and surrounded by little pink hearts that reads ‘You’re my best bud’ in shiny blue letters. The inside of the card, in Newt’s almost illegible handwriting, says ‘Thanks for being there when no one else was. You’re my favorite math nerd in the whole universe, and I would give all of my collectable Kaiju figurines to hang out with you until the end of the world (hopefully that’s later than sooner). I <3 you, Hermy worm :)’ At the bottom of the note there’s a little drawing of two stick people, one with spiky hair and glasses and the other with a frown and a cane, holding hands with a giant orange heart floating in between their heads.

 

Hermann can’t help but smile at it. It’s so childlike and innocent, it can only be Newt’s and that fills Hermann’s heart up a little too much. Even though they have their arguments and their sometimes less-than-friendly disagreements, they still care deeply about each other and it’s moments like these that it truly shows. 

 

Hermann hands the card to Newt, careful not to bend it, and starts ripping open the wrapping paper. 

It’s a box from a  _ very _ expensive brand that specializes in custom accessories, Hermann notes. (Oh heavens, what has this silly man gone and done now?) Hermann lifts the black lid to reveal an artfully crafted walking cane. He nearly drops the box.

 

“It’s got a derby handle capped with sterling silver. The shaft is made with 100% ebony wood and uh, if you look closely on the handle I got something engraved on it.” Newt looks almost shy about it. 

 

Hermann lifts the cane out of the box, feeling the weight in his hands, and looks at the top of the silver handle. It’s his equation. The one he used to close the Breach. Right there, engraved in metal. He’ll always remember this day, what they’ve accomplished. The people they’ve saved. 

If there’s one thing he could do in this very moment, it’d be to cry. Newt may be a lot of things, but one thing he is not is inconsiderate. He always knows just what to do to make anyone in his life know he pays attention. 

 

“Newton, I—” He’s completely lost for words. This is by far the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given Hermann. Saying he loves it won’t possibly amount to how much he’ll cherish this cane, until the very day he dies. 

 

“It’s ok, man. I get it. I’m glad you like it, Herm. I just thought since, you know, this one,” Newt lifts up Hermann’s old cane, “was getting kinda’ run down. I didn’t want you running around saving the world with an old cracked cane that could probably snap at any moment.”

 

“I— thank you, Newton. Sincerely.” Hermann looked down into Newt’s eyes and sees something there like appreciation or maybe pride? No, something more like affection. Something so pure and natural, something you can only see in someone’s eyes if they aren’t aware it’s there.

 

Hermann knows that Newt is his friend, no matter how much Hermann may deny it. He knows that Newt respects him as a colleague, as a fellow scholar. Hermann appreciates more than anything that Newt thinks of him even in the most dire of times. He always makes sure Hermann is safe, that he is taken care of, that he is protected. But somehow, it never crossed Hermann’s mind that maybe, just maybe, Newt thinks of Hermann as more than a colleague or friend. Maybe he sees him as a person worthy of unconditional love. God knows that Hermann had his fair share of embarrassing thoughts and secret wishes about Newt. He just never thought it would go anywhere. He’d come to accept the fact that he may never find a person that can deal with his sometimes bad attitude or messed up hip or his very,  _ very _ dry humor. But then here comes Newton with his even worse attitude and his willingness to help and his bad taste in jokes. The past ten years have been the best of Hermann’s life, and he didn’t even realize it until this very moment, right here, with the love of his life handing him a gift, looking into his eyes with the love he never thought he would get.

 

“Hermann, listen, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time, like, literal years—” And suddenly, Hermann gathers all of the courage he can muster from his slightly inebriated state and finds himself dropping the box on the ground, grabbing Newt by the waist and kissing him like there’s no tomorrow (even though they just ensured there would be many more tomorrows to come).

It’s the best thing Hermann has done in years. He didn’t even know he wanted this so much. 

Newt’s lips are soft, his body warm and firm against Hermann’s hands. Never has Hermann ever felt so grounded, so safe, that right here holding Newt. 

 

After a very long, emotionally jam-packed, ten second kiss, Hermann puls back and realizes what he has done. Oh, God. What if he misread the entire situation and then he just ruined everything for the rest of existence? Stupid, foolish, Hermann, always ruining things, with your silly emotions and rash decisions. 

 

And then Newt starts to laugh. And Hermann thinks his heart falls into his stomach. 

He’d been bullied many times before, he can definitely handle some more from his colleagues. 

 

Hermann starts to untangle himself from Newt’s hold, clearly beyond embarrassed, more like mortified, but Newt just grips tighter keeping Hermann stuck in this awful moment of prolonged torture.

 

Newt stops laughing as soon as he sees how flushed Hermann is, clearly not in on the joke.

“Oh my god, Herm, are you okay? What is it, what’s wrong?” True concern crosses Newt’s face. 

 

“You’re laughing at me, Newton! I’m sorry if I misread the situation, but there’s no need to belittle me. I made a presumption, which I shouldn’t have—”

 

“Woah, woah, back up, Herm. You didn’t misread anything, man. That was awesome! I’ve been wanting to do that since like day one! And honestly I’d really like to do it again, many, many times, if you know what I’m sayin’.” Newt gives a little wink and a sly smile that makes Hermann blush. 

 

“Well, if it was so ‘awesome’ why were you laughing? That’s not really how one should react after… “ Hermann looks away, still embarrassed.

Newt puts a hand on Hermanns cheek, and makes him look into his eyes.

 

“Hermy, I was laughing because you just think too much. You looked absolutely mortified as soon as you realized what just happened. You gotta get outta your head sometimes, man. Trust me. I loved every second of that kiss.” Newt gives a reassuring smile and intertwines their fingers. “Come on, it’s getting pretty late. I have a queen sized bed and you have nowhere to be tomorrow morning.”  That only makes Hermann flush even deeper.

 

Hermann takes his new cane and Newt’s hand and walks to Newt’s room. 

 

Newt was apparently saving a very expensive bottle of whiskey for a special occasion, so they crack it open and pass it back and forth, sipping from it like a couple of teenagers at a party. Newt kicks off his shoes and strips off his leather jacket, lying back against the headboard of the bed. 

 

“Come on, Herm. I don’t bite… yet.” Newt pats the spot next to him and waits for Hermann to take the hint and relax a little.

 

Hermann finally resigns and takes off his suit jacket and dress shoes, folding his jacket over a chair so it doesn’t wrinkle and lining his shoes up against the wall, out of the way.

He lays back tentatively next to Newt, grabbing the bottle and taking a long swig. 

 

“Woah, slow down there, man. Drink any faster and you’ll end up blacking out.”

 

“Maybe that’s my intention, Newton. I’ve never…” The courage he mustered for that kiss is fading fast. Soon he’ll be left with the repercussions of making an irreversible decision, and he doesn’t know what to do with that thought.

 

“Herm, look at me.” Hermann looks at Newt through the dim darkness of the cramped room. “It’s just us, Herm. It’s just me. Just Newt. The same guy that gives you shit for making fun of my music, and who stays up late with you in the lab working through problem after problem until we find an answer. The dude that saves you from certain death after you fall from ladders and nearly crack your skull open.” Hermann chuckles at that, easing up a little. 

Nothing had to change just because they admitted feelings and touched lips. It would just be more open now, more comfortable, no more secrets. Just us, like Newt said, it’s just us.

 

“Hermann,” Newt suddenly going serious, grabs Hermann’s hands and twists so they are facing each other, “you’re the best person I know. The smartest, funniest, most stubborn and extremely annoying person— but still the best. I don’t ever want anything to happen to you, not if I can help it,” Newt sighs, gathering his thoughts and looks into Hermann’s eyes.

“What I’m trying to say is that...I would do anything for you, and I never want you to feel unloved or forgotten about or embarrassed or anything dumb like that ever again. You’re way too awesome for that shit. And if I can help it, I’ll make sure all you feel is cared about for the rest of my life. I promise.”

 

And just like that, Hermann decided he knew two things for certain: mathematics will always provide unquestionable proof of anything and that he would love Newton Geiszler until his last breath.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm excited to post this finally!!!!!! It took me a literal week to get it all written and edited! But it's here now and I'm proud and that's that. I hope you all enjoyed!!!!!!!!  
> Also my sister [groaninlynch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/groaninlynch/works) edited it, thanks for that <33


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